


very precious to me

by gotham_ruaidh



Series: Gotham Writes for Imagine Claire & Jamie [75]
Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-21 02:46:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12448065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gotham_ruaidh/pseuds/gotham_ruaidh
Summary: Imagine Claire had given the pearls to Brianna a bit earlier in 03x05…





	very precious to me

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted at [Imagine Claire & Jamie](https://imagineclaireandjamie.tumblr.com/post/166395627768/very-precious-to-me) on tumblr

Claire set down her now-empty tumbler of whisky, squinting at the lights twinkling on the tree. Joying in the sight of all the familiar ornaments – her favorite, the one she had made Brianna just after she was born – the small Statue of Liberty from their trip to New York when Bree was in middle school – the worn but cherished hand-knit sprigs of ivy Frank’s mother had knit when he was a boy.

So many memories – reminders of times that had once been as real and tangible as the cool press of the couch leather under her bent legs, the condensation from the glass that she wiped on the battered tartan throw hanging over the back of the couch, the rumble of a truck passing in front of the house on this silent night.

Memories – that’s all she had of Jamie now. With three exceptions –

The iron ring she twisted around her finger.

The strand of pearls clutched in her free hand.

And the daughter who silently strode into the room, holding her own tumbler of whisky, and slid onto the couch beside her.

Brianna didn’t speak for a long while. In fairness, they *had* said a lot to each other, these remarkable past few days.

What to say to each other, when a permanent farewell looms? She had never had the gift of such preparation – not with Uncle Lamb, not with Frank. And certainly not with Jamie.

Many times over the years she had wondered what she would have said to each of these men, had she known their time together was drawing to a close. And now that she had the gift of preparation – with her own daughter, no less – the words just wouldn’t come. For any amount of preparation would never be enough.

Brianna, bless her, seemed contented to just sit, and think, and watch the fire across the room.

Claire turned – and watched her daughter. Joying in the very fact of her.

Brianna turned – and met her eyes – and smiled her father’s smile.

Claire cleared her throat.

“I have something for you.”

Brianna quirked a red eyebrow. “You’ve given me so much already, Mama –”

Claire shook her head. “This is different. Here. Give me your hand.”

Brianna took one more gulp, set down her tumbler – and extended both hands, palms up.

Claire carefully, gently laid Ellen’s pearls in Brianna Ellen’s hands.

Whatever Brianna had been expecting, this was certainly not it.

“These – what are these? They’re beautiful,” she breathed, softly untangling the long strand and holding up the pearls to the light.

“They’re Scottish pearls.” Claire’s voice was choked – sounded so very far away. “They belonged to your grandmother Ellen – were a wedding gift from an admirer of hers. Believe it or not – ” and here’s where Claire flashed two hundred years in the past, to the lined face of Marcus MacRannoch and the taste of crushing despair after the bloody fucking sadist had pushed her onto the pile of cold, dead, putrid bodies – “Believe it or not, I was actually able to meet him. His cattle provided the diversion Murtagh needed to help rescue Jamie from Wentworth Prison. You’ll remember that story…”

Brianna nodded, carefully winding the string around her neck. The pearls absolutely glowed in the firelight.

Just like they had –

Claire coughed. “Jamie gave them to me on our wedding night. I – I didn’t realize then just how precious they were to him. And how by giving them to me, he was telling me how much he loved me, without using those exact words.”

Brianna smiled a tight smile, then looked down – running her hands over the pearls.

“You – you must understand something, Bree. I didn’t want to marry him. But I had to – to keep safe. And he wanted to marry me, to protect me. He had been in love with me from the day we met, but I – well. My heart was still closed.”

Brianna shifted closer on the couch, taking Claire’s right hand in her left. Gripping her iron ring – the ring she now knew Jamie had given her. Eyes patient.

Claire looked down at their joined hands. “On our wedding night – we were…intimate…three times. He never forced me – ” and here her chin tilted, eyes flashing. “He *always* gave me the choice. He knew I didn’t want to marry him, so he gave me as much space as he could.”

She swallowed. “So – the first time, it was…short. Functional. We had to consummate the marriage, to ensure it was legal between us.”

“You don’t have to tell me this if you don’t want to.” Brianna’s voice was so calm and gentle. When had she become so grown up?

“But I *do* want to, Bree.” Claire met and held her daughter’s eyes. “You *must* know how it was between us – not only so you know about where you come from, but so you can recognize it when it happens to you. Don’t think I don’t see how Roger looks at you.”

Brianna flushed, but kept Claire’s gaze.

Brave and strong. Lips pursed – waiting.

Claire sighed. “So. The first time was to make it legal. The second time – it was…physical. Fun. He lit a fire inside of me, Bree – and I thought that perhaps being married to him wouldn’t be so bad.”

Brianna tensed a bit – but remained silent.

A log broke in the fireplace, scattering sparks.

“And then the third time, Brianna – I couldn’t sleep, my mind was so full of what had happened. I was sitting by the fire, much as I am now. And he – he came to me, and gave me the pearls.”

Where had the tears come from?

“I felt like such a fraud – here he was, giving me the only thing he had left of his mother, for he wanted to honor me as his wife. And so…”

Claire reached out touch the pearls now – eyes lost in memory.

“That was the first time we made love, Brianna. When *I* began to fall in love with him. For I saw how truly selfless and honorable he was.”

Brianna eased Claire into her arms, holding her so tight, the pearls between them.

“A man like that would never forget you, Mama,” she whispered, hands soothing Claire’s back – like she had done for her when she was small. “If he loved you that much then – I don’t know how that would ever go away.”

“I don’t think it would, darling - but it’s still a hell of a gamble.”

Claire moved to pull away - but Brianna stubbornly held her close.

“You can’t just forget a feeling like that, Mama. *You* certainly didn’t.”

Claire sighed - marvelling in the simple joy of just being held by her daughter.

“I know. I realize it sounds crazy - but I can’t help but think that way.”

Now Bree pulled back a bit - still holding her mother’s hands.

“It’s because you’re a surgeon - you live based on science, on certainty. But since when was anything having to do with - with Jamie - based on so much certainty?”

Claire couldn’t help the beginning of a smile. “Since never, I suppose.” She squeezed her daughter’s hands and gently brushed a few wisps of hair behind her ear.

“God, Bree - you are so like him.”

“Maybe, Mama,” she smiled back. “But I think I’m more like you.”


End file.
